A Place in Paris - Jennifer's Valentine

I spent my Valentines Day morning with Kate. I met Kate earlier only via email and a couple telephone exchanges. My landlord Ann is part of her regular tennis group. When Ann asked me months ago in an email if I played tennis I said yes right away. It seemed as if it was going to be a prerequisite for winning the Paris apartment. Kate is an older woman who is from Nashville, Tennessee who has lived in Paris for the last 39 years. I was nervous to go on the metro out to the hinter lands of Porte d' Orleans. I thanked my lucky stars for my 12 years of subway training in New York City. It allowed me to accept the reality that if you mess up you can simply get back on the train and go in the opposite direction!

We seemed to hit the ball well with one another. There was a nice back and forth rhythm and we naturally stopped every now and then at the net to have some "getting to know you" conversation. I explained that prior to arriving in Paris I had a considerable amount of loss and grief and decided that I would surrender to the adventure of six months in Paris. She got a very disturbed look on her face at the mention of these earlier personal events. I tried to not go too deeply into it and risk losing the wonderful ease of our dialogue.

At the end of our hour of hitting I must have passed the test. She asked me if I would be willing to substitute from time to time in her weekly doubles group. I said I would be delighted. As we walked back to her apartment from the tennis courts Kate told me that she had never been married. She has rented a room in her Paris apartment for extra money for the last 33 years and in that time has watched many people come and go. She said that although she does not have her own children she feels that these roommates are all like surrogate children to her. When she interviews them before moving in she said that there was always a fear in the back of her head that they are saying "what would I do living with this old lady." It has always seemed to work out very well in the end.

Kate confessed that she is a closet author. She has been procrastinating on writing a book about her myriad of experiences in this Paris apartment. She already has a title for the book that I think is simply perfect. It is called "A Place in Paris." She has met so many captivating people.

Last Christmas she travelled to Cambodia for the wedding of her electrician's niece. He showed up one day and stayed for many weeks to work on the electrical issues all over her apartment. She mentioned to him that she always wanted to go to Vietnam. He immediately invited her to come back home with him at Christmas to Cambodia. At first Kate thought that there was no way she could go. Every year she sings in the Christmas concert at the American Cathedral in Paris. Then she thought, why not? Why do I have to do what I always do? So there she was on Christmas day in the heat of a December in Cambodia a guest at a wedding with 1500 other people she did not know. She is a blonde and blue eyed southern beauty. To say that she stood out in the crowd is an understatement. These strangers were warm, welcoming, unbelievably polite and generous. It turned out that this electrician's brother is quite a wealthy man! I can picture her with a smile ear to ear as she is being pulled around the city in a rick shaw. She decided to say "yes."

We talked about this book in her head. I asked her if she had any relatives back in Tennessee. Were there any young cousins or nephews? She said yes there are. I said well you can show them how to say "yes" through your book. You can give them permission to open up to the adventure and mystery in life. They can read about this brave southern woman who ventured to Paris and stayed for 39 years. A woman who let strangers into her home and into her heart. She said," I like what you said about giving them permission." She continued with this thought and said ," you know I have never made a photo album in all of these years. I never gave myself permission because I thought that I don't have a proper family. I kept waiting for husband and children thinking that that was the permission I needed to record my life in images. Isn't that silly?"

Kate and I found a point of light with one another. I needed to give myself permission to live too. Permission to live today just as I am - no husband and no children. Just me.

Love from Paris Jennifer

The Night Before Valentine's Day

This will be my first Valentine's Day that I am celebrating by myself. I am playing tennis in the morning with a woman from Nashville, Tennessee who lives here in Paris, Kate. I have never met her before. I hope I don't make an ass of myself. I just have to accept the free fall.

I bought myself flowers on my way home tonight to mark the significance of the romantic holiday. While waiting in th echeck put line I met the most affectionate Jack Russell terrier who licked me with total reckless abandon. This was my official first french kiss. Not what I expected but it was quite good!

I have made my first friend in Paris Josef Shin who works at Breakfast in America. I know it is a bit pathetic that I go there but I can't resist the comfort of the tunes they play and hearing people around me speak english. I have discovered that if i go their at odd times of the day I can hang out as long as I want. Josef was born in Vietnam but is half Korean. He seems to be willing to take me under his wing and guide me to where I need to go. Today I had the nerve to ask him the most unsexy question. " Do you know where I can hire a carpet steam cleaning service to come and do my hallway rug?" I also asked him about using the public bikes and where I can go to watch a film in english. He seems to be taking my ignorance quite well and perhaps he finds me amusing. I am like an abandoned cat that keeps showing up on the front step for milk and comfort.

I also had my first yoga class yesterday. I LOVED IT! Yoku kept telling us to surrender. She asked us to open up our palms to the sky and just say "yes." What a wonderful image. I leaned back on my knees, spread my arms out and opened myself up to the universe. She came by me touched a spot in the center of my back and said that is where the back of your heart is so please keep it open. It is the most tender spot on my back. No wonder it has been in so much pain. At the end of the class she said that we should roll over on our sides and think about something that I have not been willing to say yes to. My mind scanned my thoughts for what it is. I came up with my answer. I have not said yes to love. She said say yes to it. Say yes to whatever it is. So I meditated on saying yes to love and surrendering to all of the possibility that lies within love.

Love Jen

Jen's Paris Romance

Well - everyone has wondered if I would fall in love in Paris. I have been here for three days and I have. I have fallen in love with the crescent moon floating over the Seine. I have fallen in love with the two bulldogs walking in the middle of level 5 in the department store on Rue de Rivoli. I have fallen in love with the turkish shop keeper selling hand painted scarves. He came to Paris in 1975 "perhaps before I was born." I have an evil eye pin attached to my sweater. This is a generous gift he selected just for me to protect me from evil (so far so good). I have fallen in love with the waiter in the internet cafe on Ile. St-Louis who gives me my coffee. I love the restaurant Breakfast in America where I can sit and eat familiar comfort food guilt free. I love the people on bikes riding in the streets at night.

It has taken me no time at all to fall in love with this place. I managed to get past the fact that I can't speak the language, don't drink wine and I am by no means a foodie. Even with these major handicaps, I have still fallen in love with Paris.

What are my goals for six months in Paris? To become self nurturing, deserving, explore the adventure and magic of life, and claim my softness and femininity. I know that it sounds a little odd. I have come from New York City where I left my biological clock. No where in my goals does it say that I must learn to speak french, become a gourmet chef or study classical art history. Perhaps all of these things will happen during my journey here but perhaps not. I am simply committed to doing whatever is in my heart's desire. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. My goal is to fall in love with me. I will treat myself as I would treat a lover - perhaps better. I may choose to buy me flowers, give myself a massage or dance across Pont Sully. The goal is to see love in everything so that I gain a deepened understanding of what it is. Is there any better place to fall in love than Paris?